


when you assume, you make an ass out of me and you (but mostly you)

by punkcowboy



Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 5 Times, Blind Character, Identity Reveal, Matt Murdock is a little shit, Misunderstandings, Multi, Secret Identity, perhaps???, who knows🤷🏽♀️
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-02-16 20:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18698848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkcowboy/pseuds/punkcowboy
Summary: In which the Avengers continue to assume things about Davedevil, and Daredevil has a wonderful time proving all of their assumptions wrong.-Or 5 times the Avengers assume something about Daredevil, and 1 time they learn something about Matt Murdock





	1. Natasha Learns A Thing Or Two About Lawyers

**Author's Note:**

> aka. Another ‘Matt meets the Avengers & possibly reveal his identity to them’ about 3 years too late, but I had fun with this so🤷🏽♀️
> 
> Also, this completely disregards recent MCU movies, and possibly the last 2 seasons of Daredevil. IDK, i haven’t seen season 3 yet
> 
> I JUST WANT A FUNNY MATT MEETS THE AVENGERS FIC OK LET ME LIVEEE

It wasn't often that Matt fought with the Avengers. He tended to avoid them as much as he could, for his friend's safety, the safety of his identity, and also just because he didn't particularly like them.

Also, superhero teams made him antsy. Far too much trust involved. Far too much risk that Matt simply couldn't take if he wanted to keep Foggy- and now Karen- safe.

Therefore, Daredevil generally fought alone unless a major, world-ending, aliens-coming-through-a-portal-in-the-sky kind of event was taking place. Then, yeah, maybe he'd call for back-up.

(Maybe)

Thus, it was certainly a surprise when another person started fighting by his side during the breaking up of a regular 'drug deal gone wrong'. And it was definitely a surprise when the other person appeared to be Natasha Romanoff, aka. The Black Widow, aka. Far too high-profile a character to be monitoring drug runs.

Something was up.

And, now that the fighting was over, Matt was about to find out. 

Matt heard purposeful steps behind him, along with a barely perceptible heartbeat, before a deceivingly calm voice called out,

"Daredevil. A word?"

Matt considered simply jumping out of the window in front of him, but just as quickly decided against it. There was no way he could refuse the Black Widow without looking suspicious. Plus, well- she'd get a hold of him at some point anyway so may as well get whatever this was over with, as soon as possible.

Clearing his features of emotion- the mask only covered the top half of his face, after all- he turned his head to the side. He was good at guessing where people were standing and could mostly get away with looking in their general direction, but he didn't want to risk it with Natasha. So he spoke over his shoulder to her, in the gruffest voice he could muster,

"What about?"

"Come with me and I'll tell you. Too many ears here. I'm sure you'd appreciate a discussion about your identity being somewhere more," she paused, and Matt could only assume she was looking at the bodies surrounding her, "Private."

Matt tilted his head. The only heartbeats left- other than the two of them- were coming from the men unconscious on the floor. However, although he didn't fully trust her, she was right- the criminals could wake up anytime, police were on their way already and, if this was about his identity, he couldn't risk either of those parties finding out who he was.

Plus, he needed to know to what extent she was talking about when referring to his identity. She couldn't possibly know he was Matt Murdock, he'd been careful enough to avoid that no matter how good a spy she was. But, it was possible that she knew he was blind. Or maybe his occupation, or his apartment building, or-

Rabbit holing.

He needed to know what she knew. So, he agreed.

-

They found themselves a few miles down the docks, on the roof of a warehouse very similar to the one they'd left behind. Matt tilted his head to listen for anyone nearby, but there wasn't a soul to be heard aside from him and Natasha. Speaking of-

"What were you wanting to speak to me about?"

Natasha seemed to have been expecting the question, as there was no delay in her reply, “I have a theory,” she replied simply. “And what would that theory be, Ms Romanov?”

"The only people I've heard talk in the manner that you do are lawyers, or priests. You've already told us you're Catholic, and so I think you're a priest. Besides, I don't believe that a lawyer would disregard the whole concept of his profession to spend his nights as a vigilante. Have you got anything to say?"

That caught him off guard. The big, bad spy- one of the most formidable people he'd ever met, no doubt about it- had actually got something wrong. He took a moment to answer- partially to choose his next words carefully, and partially so he didn't burst out laughing; he wanted to run with this for a bit. God knows he'd never get another chance. 

"Wouldn't a priest be against the whole vigilante thing as well?"

Natasha crossed her arms, and he could imagine her levelling him with a steady glare.

"You tell me."

"Well," he started, "This is my purpose. I'm not saying I'm His delegate on earth, simply that if He didn't think what I'm doing needed done, I wouldn't be here right now."

"That sounds dangerously close to the arguments of extremists."

"Perhaps. But. I'm not disillusioned. I'm not claiming I'm carrying out the word of God, or that I have a say over who lives or dies. I help who needs help; the world is cruel, and sometimes justice doesn't catch on soon enough. So, I speed it up a little."

"With fist fights and blood?"

He spread his hands and shrugged.

"Only when necessary."

Natasha snorted in disbelief, breaking her impassive demeanour, "seems to happen a lot more than that. I think you've got some anger issues, Father."

Matt grimaced at that. While he had enjoyed playing along- and as a bonus, not having his identity revealed- it felt wrong to be addressed as a holy man when he still felt like a sinner. He tried to mask his expression quickly, but he knew Natasha would have caught it.

"I am what I am," he replied simply.

"And what would that be?" Natasha shot back.

Matt grinned, shrugging off his gruff demeanour for just a moment.

"Definitely not a priest." He said, jumping to the next roof over before she could even begin to reply.

Fuck, he loved it when the Avengers got things wrong

He was listening to her the whole time, of course, and it wasn't until he was already a few miles out that he heard her mutter, "a lawyer, then."

She didn't try to follow him, which he appreciated. The fact that she now knew his occupation put him on edge. However, for some reason, he found himself not minding as much as he probably should. At least it would be an interesting story to tell Foggy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, the note at the beginning was rather agressive.
> 
> I figured we all could do with going back to Ye Olde Timey sort of fics, full of humour and ‘the Avengers all live together in the Tower and it’s very domestic’ kind of fluff, in light of the,,, pain caused by Infinity War/Endgame.  
> So, I provided, and whether it be for my own self-indulgence and nostalgia or for the benefit of other heartbroken souls remains to be seen.
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed, and feedback is always welcome!


	2. Steve Learns Not To Take Rumours Too Seriously

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing, Steve Rogers everybody! Also, Catholicism and stupid rumours. Oh dear.

Foggy, as expected, had gotten a kick out of Matt’s conversation with the Black Widow. He was far less skeptical about the Avengers, unfortunately, trying to convince Matt that a team-up would “good for him” and “stop him from getting beaten to shit so much” and “Captain America, dude!”

Coincidentally, Matt's next real, face-to-face interaction with an Avenger began with one Captain Steven Rogers shoving a cross in his face.

Admittedly, he was a little thrown at first- who wouldn’t have been?- but he liked to think that he got over it quickly. He smirked before taking the object in his hands and feeling over the familiar design. Yep, definitely a cross. Matt, unfortunately, knew why he was doing this, but knowing didn't make it any less confusing.

Or amusing. He couldn’t decide which was more fitting for this particular situation.

Had Steve Rogers, Mr America himself, _really_ come all the way to Hell's Kitchen, searched for him from rooftop to rooftop for hours- before Matt finally put him out of his misery and stepped out from the shadows to greet him- to address _this_ rumour, of all things?

Looking- kind of- at the evidence in front of him, that appeared to be exactly the case.

It also seemed to be the case that Matt would have to be the first to speak on the matter, as the good captain seemed to have been failing to muster up a single word thus far.

"Didn't take you for one to believe in rumours, Captain," he said, in the gruffest voice he could muster.

To his credit, Rogers didn't seem embarrassed. Just relieved.

"I don't tend to, but some rumours begin with a seed of truth. Had to make sure this one didn't," he replied matter-of-factly.

"And did you get your answer?"

Rogers paused, "I hope so, yes."

Matt couldn't hold it in any longer. He snorted loudly, not bothering to cover it up.

"I can't believe," he managed out between breaths, "that you, Captain _fucking_ America, thought I was the _actual_ _Devil_."

Rogers shuffled. He was blushing a little now, and- probably in a feeble attempt to hide it- he rubbed the back of his neck and ducked his head down.

"Perhaps it was unlikely, but better safe than sorry. You do operate out of Hell's Kitchen after all, and your costume doesn't exactly. _Help_. Your case." he argued.

"It's a symbol," he replied, as he always did when people questioned his choice of costume. It was far easier than explaining that, actually, he hadn’t really had a choice in the design, or the name; neither Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, or Daredevil, were his idea but they were what the papers seemed to have stuck on and there wasn’t much he could do to change that. And the costume? Maybe Melvin thought he was being funny with the horns, who knows. It all just sort of- happened.

To be fair, it was useful when criminals were so scared of him and his Devil-ness that they would sometimes give themselves up on the spot. Made his job a heck of a lot easier.

Although the smell of piss when some of the aforementioned criminals got scared? Now _that_ , he could do without.

"Yes, it is," Rogers conceded, "A symbol that the Devil is coming for you. Forgive me for taking the metaphor a little too literally."

And, man. This dude was far too polite, it was disconcerting. Strangely enough, he also hadn’t heard a lie from him in all the time they’d been talking, which definitely counted for something. Honesty was not the most common trait in their line of work, even- and maybe especially- among the “heroes”. All that said, Matt was beginning to like Rogers, despite his own reservations.

Aka; Avengers; bad. Messy. Therefore, no team ups.

It was getting harder to hate them with every meeting he had with one of them. Despite their habit for making assumptions about him. Still, doesn't mean he won't try.

"I think the get-up is a bit too on the nose for it to be the real Devil," he replied, trying to wrap things up. This conversation was getting a bit too friendly for his liking.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe not. God, I-"

"Blasphemy," Matt interrupted on instinct.

Rogers stared, "What?"

"You used His name in vain. Hence, blasphemy," Matt answered patiently.

Rogers composed himself after a moment, "Right, right, of course. Not the Devil, just. Religious?"

Matt nodded curtly, “Catholic.” Rogers paused thoughtfully.

"And you can still dress up like that? It doesn't- interfere with your beliefs or anything?"

Great. He was curious now, and curiosity led to research and research led to identity reveal and-

Time to get out of here.

"I have to go," he said, standing up suddenly. Had he been crouching this whole time? Maybe that's why his knees felt so stiff.

Rogers rolled his shoulders back, "Right, of course. So, um. Final check."

Quick as a flash, he pulled out a vial of some sort of liquid, which he splashed over Matt's face as he turned to look at him one last time.

Serves him right for trusting an Avenger, even as briefly as he had. If it was long enough to let your guard down, it was too long.

Matt grimaced, "Holy water? Really?"

"Like I said," Rogers shrugged, returning the now empty vial to his- did that suit even have pockets? Where was he keeping it? "Had to be sure."

Matt grunted again. Out of annoyance or amusement, even he wasn't sure.

"OK, I'm definitely not the Devil. Or a devil. Or any sort of demonic figure."

Rogers nodded in affirmation, "100% human, as far as I can tell."

Daredevil turned away from him once again.

"Happy now?"

"Yes, I believe I am sir," Matt could only assume he was giving him a winning smile. Or a shit-eating grin, one of the two.

"Good, I live to please," he muttered sarcastically.

"Glad to hear it!" Rogers shouted after him as he made his way to- well, anywhere away from Captain fucking America. He wasn't picky.

"Get the fuck out of my city!" He shouted back, and the way Roger's heart rate picked up slightly told him that he had heard it. Huh. Enhanced hearing, better keep that in mind.

Not that Matt was planning on talking to the Avengers again anytime soon. Nope, no way. Two was enough for an entire lifetime, no matter what Foggy said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey. Fancy seeing you here.
> 
> Hope y’all enjoyed this goofiness! Foggy has a major crush on the good ol’ Cap, and Matt hates it.
> 
> Also! I know what I want to write for Tony, Clint and Thor, but I have no clue about Bruce/Hulk. Any ideas? 
> 
> Hope y’all enjoyed, any feedback would be lovely to hear! Xo


End file.
